B Movies

An archive of movie reviews and other shrimp gumbo using our very own proprietary and universally perfect Puppet Rating System (aka PUPPETS).

GasLand: What You Need to Know About the Natural Gas Industry

GasLand (2010), a documentary written and directed by Josh Fox, just opened at the Hollywood Theatre here in Portland Oregon, and I am still livid having watched it just 2…

The Queen of the Sun: A Spiritual Plea for the Dismantling of the Industrial Bee Complex

The Queen of the Sun premiered Friday, September 19th at the normally quiet Hollywood Theatre in Portland to a line of people that stretched out the door and far down…

Best Worst Movie: In the Aftermath of the Italian Utah Invasion of ’89

The year is 1989, and “the Italians” have descended upon Utah carrying video recording equipment and brandishing a script entitled “Goblins”. They select some Americans from the general population, hand…

Winnebago Man: The Quiet Dignity of Anger

Following an uncelebrated career in back-room news broadcasting, Jack Rebney makes a switch to industrial film production.  The move takes him out of the mundane commercial existence of NYC and…

Countdown to Zero: aka We’re F#cked

From almost the very start of Countdown to Zero (2010) you have a keen awareness that you are witnessing something truly awesome and awful.  In fact, you probably already expected…

Cyrus – A Comedy Without the Mumblecore

If you were making idle conversation, say, with a friend of yours – not a good friend mind you, more like somebody that you have an ongoing cordial relationship with…

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Undead.. and Are Minor Actors in a New Film

Hitting theaters this summer is the debut comedy by director Jordan Galland with a script loosely-based on the 1966 Tom Stoppard play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead that itself is…

Nobody Home: a Review of “Cropsey” and “Exit Through the Gift Shop”

Staten Island parents have for years warned their children about “Cropsey”, a deranged killer that roams the island, sometimes wielding an ax, other times a hook, but in all cases…

Enter the PUPPETS: Introducing Biased Bohemian’s Puppet Rating System

When Elizabeth was just a wee lass she would watch films like Labrynth, The Neverending Story, and The Dark Crystal with rapt attention and a drooling mouth of wonder.  Now,…