Here’s what we got: one glorified lunch box. Strap that onto the bike handlebar, coat it with impenetrable shiny plastic, call it a bag, and charge a couple of Jacksons and you have yourself a waterproof Banjo Brothers handlebar bag. You know what, toss in there a strap so that one can wear the bag like a European Carry-all and affix a bracket so that the bag can be attached and detached from a bike’s handlebar. Now you’re talking “Down Town”.
I’ve seen glorified lunch boxes that are not waterproof. I say, “what’s the point?” In other words, the handlebar bag is the most accessible bag that is strapped to the bike. Because of this, the handlebar bag is where bikers will put their phone, wallet, and other expensive and easily damaged belongings. Of all the bags, this is the one that needs to be waterproof. If you don’t buy a waterproof handlebar bag then you can basically cross yourself off of the list of intelligent people. I’m on that list. I’m at the mutherf$%king top, y’all. I get smarter the more that I drink.
I’ve seen handlebar bags that double as fanny packs. This is a good accessory for bikers that favor flashy, tight, and gaudy clothing. You know, the kind of bikers that strut around in black tights and flagrantly bright blue and yellow stretch shirts complete with a number on the back and a slogan on the front. Here’s an additional way to make you look loud and annoying. Fanny pack it in and fanny pack it deep.
Just kidding you guys.
Handlebar bag. Handlebar moustache.