Day -14: The Repellent

“Stop bugs dead in their tracks!”

“I’m not drunk.”

“Tell that to a breathalyzer.”

…I’m bringing insect repellent on the trip in order to keep the bugs away.  The kind of repellent that I picked up contains only natural ingredients.  It’s called All Terrain. Those motherf#$ckas make it real tight with the active ingredients of Citronella, Soybean, Peppermint, Cedar, Lemongrass and Geranium.  I can’t say whether or not it works, but if there is a high likelihood that I won’t be showering for days on end the last thing that I want sitting on my skin is DEET or some other chemical that will make me impotent or stupid.

All Terrain may keep the bugs away, but what I really need is people repellent.  Something to keep the thieves, conservatives and Jehovahs away.  I’ll talk more about my hand cannon in a later post.